Showing posts with label Actors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Actors. Show all posts
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Friday the 13th: Part II
A(nother) Open Letter to (Louise) Robey
Robey, My Dearest:
Your silence in reference to last month's letter is vexing.
As is this video of you singing One Night in Bangkok:
There's so much to answer for now, I fear that my love may crumble under the weight of the lovely mystery that is you.
Luckily, there's another Friday the 13th in this calendar year, so I'll wait with baited breath to hear back from you then...
Till November - I'll remain yours truly,
Action Matt!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Unfortunate Filler: More Ledger/Joker Stuff
Hey Actioneer(s?),
I'm trying to iron out a technical issue with a pretty lengthy post I wrote about this list of movies that Conservatives (the Head Honchos of Hollywood Hating) are trying to claim for their own nefarious purposes. In the meantime, here's about the only Christian Bale rant joke that I actually thought was funny:
Works on SOOOOOOOO many levels...
More later, I hope! - AM!
I'm trying to iron out a technical issue with a pretty lengthy post I wrote about this list of movies that Conservatives (the Head Honchos of Hollywood Hating) are trying to claim for their own nefarious purposes. In the meantime, here's about the only Christian Bale rant joke that I actually thought was funny:
Works on SOOOOOOOO many levels...Click on the image to see other spoof posters from CollegeHumor.com
More later, I hope! - AM!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na...
Not even Batman could have stopped a certain joker from stealing an Oscar last night. Check out this week's Monday Media Madness post I wrote for the Sequential Art Collective and read all about it.
Click HERE to flip the Shakespeare head and slide down the proverbial Batpole.
"I had a dream I was a vigilante's sidekick..."
Click HERE to flip the Shakespeare head and slide down the proverbial Batpole.
"I had a dream I was a vigilante's sidekick..."Friday, February 13, 2009
Happy Friday the 13th
An Open Letter to (Louise) Robey
Oh Robey,
Star of the bafflingly titled Friday the 13th: The Series...
...Only Wilma Flintstone pre-dates you in my love of shapely red heads with strange and annoying voices.
Sure, you can blame your accent on being Canadian, but can you broil an entire rack of Brontosaurus ribs? Or at least satisfactorily explain how a string of movies about a slasher in a hockey mask was turned into a TV show aboot two "cousins" tracking down cursed antiques?
The 13th falls on a Friday again in March. So, you have a month to come up with something.
- Love,
Action Matt!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The William Holden Helmet
William Holden was an American actor, who won the Best Actor Oscar in 1953 for his role in Billy Wilder’s Stalag 17. He died in 1981, from a head injury he possibly suffered while he was stumbling around his apartment, drunk out of his mind. Forensic evidence suggests that he slipped on a throw rug, slammed his head against a table and bled to death. He was too hopped up to even realize he was on his way out. His body was discovered four days later.
The year before, he was diagnosed with severe lung cancer. So if you ask me - his was a much better way to go.
However, a very good friend (and regular drinking buddy) of mine has recently conceived of a way to avoid “William Holden-ing” and chose to share this method with me via instant messenger.
(Conversation occurred between 2:16 and 5:34 PM, Monday February 9th. It has been edited for content, and some names have been changed and/or removed.)
HELMET HEAD: Coors Light tall boys, the official drink of (Helmet Head’s) apartment
ACTION MATT!: Now?
HELMET HEAD: The American Dream * in action. indeed
HELMET HEAD: I have (work on) Wednesday and Thursday, which is good
HELMET HEAD: So now, I celebrate my awesome tax return
ACTION MATT!: Cool
HELMET HEAD: This Over Her Dead Body picture is ponderously bad
ACTION MATT!: ?
HELMET HEAD: I’m watching with the sound off and it’s still bad
HELMET HEAD: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0785007/
ACTION MATT!: Yeah I just searched that
ACTION MATT!: Was it free?
ACTION MATT!: Are you paying to watch that piece of shit?
HELMET HEAD: On the cable
ACTION MATT!: Oh, I thought you pay-per-viewed it
ACTION MATT!: because that's how you roll
HELMET HEAD: For real
HELMET HEAD: then pass out and bathe in beer
HELMET HEAD: I may put on my Bill Holden helmet around 7pm
ACTION MATT!: lol
HELMET HEAD: I am constructing a Bill Holden helmet Tony-Stark-style
HELMET HEAD: Mark 2, complete
ACTION MATT!: LOL
ACTION MATT!: Like a ‘tard helmet, but for drunks
HELMET HEAD: Absolutely
HELMET HEAD: Construction of the final helmet is complete
HELMET HEAD sends the following photo:
ACTION MATT!: Is that a Darth Vader voice changer?
HELMET HEAD: Totally!
ACTION MATT!: What did you do to modify the helmet?
HELMET HEAD: I put batteries in it
ACTION MATT!: And that's how it will protect you from William Holden-ing?
HELMET HEAD: Yes!
ACTION MATT!: That's just cheating
HELMET HEAD: Best. Holden helmet. Ever.
HELMET HEAD: I wore this helmet to (A Mutual Friend’s) place, and (Friend’s Dog) peed everywhere ‘cause he was scared
HELMET HEAD: No shit
ACTION MATT!: Heh
HELMET HEAD: Like, how does the dog know that its evil?
ACTION MATT!: George Lucas: "Well, you see Joseph Campbell's theories on myth..."
ACTION MATT!: “mmm-hoy”
HELMET HEAD: Heh
HELMET HEAD: Fuck, I forgot how cool this thing is
HELMET HEAD: 33 years old and a closet full of Star Wars? You bet
HELMET HEAD: I had to clean out the spider webs in the mask
ACTION MATT!: Heh, maybe a spider'll lay eggs in you like Meatwad…
HELMET HEAD: Don’t tell me these things, not now man*
ACTION MATT!: …or, leave you susceptible to mind-control like Paul Winfield in Wrath of Khan…
HELMET HEAD: I feel a bit coming on
HELMET HEAD: youtube style
HELMET HEAD: “You are all doomed”
HELMET HEAD: This mask is cracking me up
HELMET HEAD: Helmet, even
(*Appropriate Fear and Loathing... references)
As of 2/11/09, HELMET HEAD was still alive and kicking. For better or worse, his creation has yet to undergo any serious amount of field testing. Updates will be posted as necessary.
The year before, he was diagnosed with severe lung cancer. So if you ask me - his was a much better way to go.
However, a very good friend (and regular drinking buddy) of mine has recently conceived of a way to avoid “William Holden-ing” and chose to share this method with me via instant messenger.
(Conversation occurred between 2:16 and 5:34 PM, Monday February 9th. It has been edited for content, and some names have been changed and/or removed.)
HELMET HEAD: Coors Light tall boys, the official drink of (Helmet Head’s) apartment
ACTION MATT!: Now?
HELMET HEAD: The American Dream * in action. indeed
HELMET HEAD: I have (work on) Wednesday and Thursday, which is good
HELMET HEAD: So now, I celebrate my awesome tax return
ACTION MATT!: Cool
HELMET HEAD: This Over Her Dead Body picture is ponderously bad
ACTION MATT!: ?
HELMET HEAD: I’m watching with the sound off and it’s still bad
HELMET HEAD: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0785007/
ACTION MATT!: Yeah I just searched that
ACTION MATT!: Was it free?
ACTION MATT!: Are you paying to watch that piece of shit?
HELMET HEAD: On the cable
ACTION MATT!: Oh, I thought you pay-per-viewed it
ACTION MATT!: because that's how you roll
HELMET HEAD: For real
HELMET HEAD: then pass out and bathe in beer
HELMET HEAD: I may put on my Bill Holden helmet around 7pm
ACTION MATT!: lol
HELMET HEAD: I am constructing a Bill Holden helmet Tony-Stark-style
HELMET HEAD: Mark 2, complete
ACTION MATT!: LOL
ACTION MATT!: Like a ‘tard helmet, but for drunks
HELMET HEAD: Absolutely
HELMET HEAD: Construction of the final helmet is complete
HELMET HEAD sends the following photo:
ACTION MATT!: Is that a Darth Vader voice changer?
HELMET HEAD: Totally!
ACTION MATT!: What did you do to modify the helmet?
HELMET HEAD: I put batteries in it
ACTION MATT!: And that's how it will protect you from William Holden-ing?
HELMET HEAD: Yes!
ACTION MATT!: That's just cheating
HELMET HEAD: Best. Holden helmet. Ever.
HELMET HEAD: I wore this helmet to (A Mutual Friend’s) place, and (Friend’s Dog) peed everywhere ‘cause he was scared
HELMET HEAD: No shit
ACTION MATT!: Heh
HELMET HEAD: Like, how does the dog know that its evil?
ACTION MATT!: George Lucas: "Well, you see Joseph Campbell's theories on myth..."
ACTION MATT!: “mmm-hoy”
HELMET HEAD: Heh
HELMET HEAD: Fuck, I forgot how cool this thing is
HELMET HEAD: 33 years old and a closet full of Star Wars? You bet
HELMET HEAD: I had to clean out the spider webs in the mask
ACTION MATT!: Heh, maybe a spider'll lay eggs in you like Meatwad…
HELMET HEAD: Don’t tell me these things, not now man*
ACTION MATT!: …or, leave you susceptible to mind-control like Paul Winfield in Wrath of Khan…
HELMET HEAD: I feel a bit coming on
HELMET HEAD: youtube style
HELMET HEAD: “You are all doomed”
HELMET HEAD: This mask is cracking me up
HELMET HEAD: Helmet, even
(*Appropriate Fear and Loathing... references)
As of 2/11/09, HELMET HEAD was still alive and kicking. For better or worse, his creation has yet to undergo any serious amount of field testing. Updates will be posted as necessary.
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